Wednesday, September 26, 2012

update on glasses and love

Okay so the boy who wears fake glasses, Gunther, I actually like him a whole lot. He's hilarious, funny, and sensitive and all the sentimental junk no one wants to hear about. Long story short, he's a great guy. I haven't come in contact with many of those in my life. On top of all that, he's totally in love with me. So I guess I'm the worst person in the world for going and with Guy and all that, but Gunther says he's okay with it, just as long as he gets to see me too. He's one of those guys that's all, "As long as your happy, I'm happy." Gah. It's so frustrating.

My life is one big awkward moment.

So this boy in a class of mine asked me on a date. Not the aforementioned fake glasses wearer, but a new boy. He has asked me to go to homecoming with him.

I went to the homecoming football game because I am trying to "get involved," as advised by Cleavland. People were so shocked that I was attending a high school social eventI was with Guy, my homecoming date, watching the game. He invited me to go with him to see some stupid scary movie, and I happily obliged  because I like to get free things. Guy left for a moment to round up the group and left me with his best friend and my long time crush, Maurice. Once Guy walked away, Maurice started hugging me and telling me how awkward I was, and then started saying things like this: "So there is this girl, and a lot of guys like her, and she is really cute... And Guy and I decided that we were going to get her to fall in love with both of us." me: "Well good luck with that!" "Yeah but the thing is, Nothing, that I don't know how to get a girl to fall in love with me..." "You just have to buy her presents." "No, see, what you have to do is make her feel like she is important and interesting and funny and beautiful, and then she will fall in love with you." "I thought you didn't know how to get a girl to fall in love with you?" "Well... that's just what I've heard." Is it just me, or was he making it sound like he was talking about me? And then Guy walks up and Maurice says, "So I told Nothing about our plan!" and Guy just goes, "ooooohhhhh." and smiles. WTF boys? I don't know what this means, but it made me feel awkward and happy and mad all at the same time.

So after the movie, Guy takes me home and is at my doorstep and he starts leaning in to kiss me. Now everybody knows that you are supposed to turn your head to the right when you are about to kiss someone? Right? That's the rule. Well Guy leaned left and the first thing that popped into my mind was that maybe he is left handed... Maybe there is a correlation between the two. So I just asked, "Are you left handed?" and he said, "What? No?" And then I just laughed and kissed him and then went into my house. Apparently you aren't supposed to ask things like that right as you're about to kiss someone. I thought it was a valid question, but I guess blurting such questions out in the moment is considered "weird." Oh well.

Wednesday, August 22, 2012

I want my baby back

I just want some ribs. I've never been unhappy while eating ribs. Ribs just take the pain and make it go away... and then come back after you're done because now you hate yourself for eating an entire rack of ribs by yourself and your face and fingers are now all sticky.

Today, I am in Hell.

I hate Nevada. It's hot and sticky outside all the time, and all you can see anywhere is dirt. I hate Nevada. But even worse than just Nevada in general, is Elko, Nevada. Besides the fact that Elko is hot and sticky and covered in dirt, it is one of those vacuum towns- anyone who is born there can't get out when they grow up, so it's just a small town filled with dead dreams and the people that can't escape it. And the way the boys stare... Gosh you would think they'd never seen a girl in their entire lives! I'm pretty sure that hell is a crowded Walmart on Black Friday located in Elko. Or maybe it's just a never ending AP test that you didn't study for given in the DMV. Either way, I don't want to go. And I just want to get out of Nevada.

Sunday, August 5, 2012

Teenage Nothing is dating a real life boy?!?

pros and cons.

pros: he's funny, cute, nice, and he seems to like me.

cons: he wears fake glasses.

I just don't know if this is going to go anywhere...,,,


Commas. The vampire fangs of punctuation. I think instead of doing ellipses (...) it would make more of a statement to use commas. Example: I don't know... (meaning you are unsure and hesitant and therefore you look weak to your opponent) it becomes: I don't know,,, (now meaning, IDGAF, and I know I can take you.)   So make a statement, don't forget the commas,,,

Wednesday, August 1, 2012

pet peeve of the day.

pizza dabbers. Okay people, just eat the stinking pizza. If you take a napkin and dab off the grease, that is a literal crime. You're getting rid of the best part. (my favorite foods being grease, meat, and any sort of fried dough.) You know a slice is good when the grease pools in the melted and slightly browned cheese and crisped pepperoni. I bet no one has ever realized that a slice of pizza is such poetry as to not be tampered with, especially with the likes of a napkin.